Come round,
And have a freshly baked coffee
And some ground bread.
We could sit drinking croissants
At the bottom of the bed
And smell the day go by
As it dances up the lane
And kiss like handsome strangers
Dipping tongues in sweet champagne.
©Jamie Zubairi 2011
28th Feb 2011
Familiar
There it is again:
That yawn of poverty,
That call of ‘no’,
That empty bed,
That cold street,
That sickly feeling, bilious –
No thanks. All too familiar.
That sideways glance,
That shrugged shoulder,
That quick release of a handshake,
That feeling you get in here –
No thanks, all to familiar.
You become somehow numb,
You become cold and brittle,
Steeled, hollow, a rugged landscape,
Something somewhat hillier.
Please, take my hand, make it unfamiliar.
(possibly 24th November 2010) © Jamie Zubairi
With thanks to Sioned Jones, Madame Charlatan Arcati and her Caravan of Poetry evenings in Clapham.
I am about procrastination. That’s been the regular thought in the forefront of my mind throughout most of the past few years.
There is always something better to do than the menial and repetitive. It’s my New Year’s Resolution to actually blog this year. Since I have more things to do than blog today (100 push-ups, tax return – on hold; line learning – immediate and a ball-ache – we go back into rehearsals tomorrow; editing the massive voice-over project that will hopefully give me a bit of dosh that would ease things for a little – I’ve got a bit of time on that one but each section does seem to take 2 days of solid editing (I’ve done 2 of the 5 large sections, halfway through my third) and going to Tesco to buy Alpen (and chocolate) for the morning.
Ok. So this blog hasn’t started out as inspirational as I want to be but the fact is, I’ve started. Small steps. Like the voiceover editing, like the tax return, like the line-learning. Small steps. I’ve done nearly half of my editing, most of my lines have been learnt, they just need working on their feet and I’ve done 42 push-ups, I’ve done the receipts section of my tax return and I’ve just written a blog. Now I’m going to make the small steps to Tesco to buy breakfast for the morning. And chocolates to celebrate my mini-goals so far.
Happy New Year everyone.
Zooby
If, For A Flash, I Felt Bidden.
The empty streets glowed gaudy with
Season’s Greetings.
How empty streets gain nothing but fear of
Footsteps or shadows or the sound of muffle and hum.
“Have you seen the film about the dead girl?” you said.
I don’t need to see it.
Laconic.
I left before
We got too deep into one
And I got too deep into you.
I don’t want to feed that danger,
I cannot be more than stranger.
I want to remain an imprint on the night,
Not a fumble. Or a shackle.
But from where I stand I can
See the blurry edge of
Friendship turn to longing.
I cannot even wish for a clear day,
For clarity is what I am
Now.
The purple of the night
Makes it a lot easier but
Dares everyone, eases people to
Believing this is right.
I know.
You can’t bolt down an empty space.
If, for a flash, I felt bidden
To feel your face
I’d have ran and hidden before
I’d stirred the corners of
Your simplicity. Perhaps shadows
Of commotion would have shrouded
That intention, made you feel
Flesh, made you sense what I know.
No. It would never happen –
I don’t allow proximity.
The new night soon turns baby day
And from the dome of sleepy
Goodbyes there was a crack in
This skull of mine.
Was it in the bright bulbs
Lining The Broadway
Or was it the freckled void?
That fickle glimpse of happiness;
The simple pleasures of holding hands at moments,
Comforting in your smile’s caresses.
Breathing happy air
Calming down, sitting still.
Able to breathe.
©JamieZubairi 2010
(previously published on the facebook fansite)
From the onset I knew that this month was going to get very busy. I knew that I had my tax return to complete online by Jan 31st, I have the rewrites to my play to do by next week (more of a re-imagining really) for the 20 minute version for rehearsals next week with Mark and Nadia Swetz and then I have my Pulse Fringe Festival application to finish by Friday 22nd.
But if anyone had told me that my career would suddenly go into overdrive, I wouldn’t have believe them. A call from my agent lets me know that I have an audition on the Friday for a small role in ‘Holby City’. I request for it to be in the morning so I can attend ‘Wolf’ rehearsals. Kath Burlinson’s ‘Wolf’ has a busy schedule in the next few months. She’s applied for Pulse, funding for Edinburgh as well as other things in the pipeline for it. It looks exciting for the project that we’ve been working on for nearly a year. We’re to call ourselves The Authentic Artist Collective which will be the umbrella for all of us and our projects.
I get to the audition late but they’re not that bothered. It was cutting it fine but I didn’t know that now Elstree and Borehamwood was in Zone 6 and it’s still on the Underground Zones so it doesn’t require a special ticket other than zone extension. I was at the automated ticket booth looking for tickets to that station but they wouldn’t sell any from the booth, I can see a train going in 5 minutes that’ll take me there. WHAT’S GOING ON?!?!?!? I get to the front of the queue of the ticket window this time and ask about tickets, he explains the situation by which time I’ve missed my train and I will be late. Oh well.
Anyway, the casting director is really nice when I get there and she explains that the director is taking a fagbreak. Well, at least he’s human. I audition, she’s remarks that I’ve tried to do it without referring to the text, which I think “unusual” but we do another take, this time with me referring to my sides, she asks how old I am (the character I’m reading for is 38) the director gives me notes and it’s kind of done and dusted. As I’m leaving he asks “Can I grow a beard easily?”
“Yes.” More unusuality.
Anyway, I get back to Central London a little late for the rehearsals. Kath has invited Kerry to compose music for us and is improvising vocally, finding out what we’re capable of and how we sound.
We’ve taken a break and I’ve got a message from Peter saying to call him. I do. “When they want you, they want you.” BBC called. I’ve been offered the role. Overjoyed. My first proper telly in 10 years (also with the BBC) and not counting the adverts, the endless short films and corporates. It seems that they have paid off.
I call my folks and tell them the news. I tell my mum I’m going into hospital at the end of the month. Holby City. A bit cruel I know but it’s joyous news. Everyone congratulates me on the gig. I’m really pleased. Approval from my peers is key to me. A little worried about S who is a little concerned about the lack of work. I hope it comes her way soon. She’s bl**dy good.
This is my first wordpress.com blog.
It’s going to be more arts-based than my Everest Blog and possibly updated more frequently. I have one more update on http://jamiezubairi.blogspot.com before I migrate it across or close it down entirely, that will be on Kathmandu and the aftermath of the Nokia Everest Test 2009 which was a life-changing experience. Nearly 8 months after the fact and I’m still feeling the changes and noticing the changes. They have affected my work and the way I look at life. This is my new blog.
Why wordpress? I have no idea why, I just felt like a change. I’m trying it out. It feels slightly better, user friendly, more professional.
Why ‘Skylarking’?
Well, it’s the name of my first play and it’s also the name of my method of working. Skylarking as a method was borne out of workshops with Paul Oertel (though not forgetting the important input by his wife Nancy Spanier) and they are both Performance Inventions and amazing performers and facilitators. Of course, I wouldn’t have gone on this course if it wasn’t for the encouragement of the wonderful Kath Burlinson and of my friend Andi Hall who put the seeds into my head about re-finding my artistic self. More about this later when I have a little more time
Every Passion Arts 